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You listen too much to what other people say. Mum, your friends — hell, even me. Have you ever once listened to yourself? Done something because you wanted to do it not because it was suggested to you?"I was stunned into silence."That dress," he muttered, still shaking his head. "That dress isn't yours. Those shoes aren't yours. The nails, the hair, the makeup. That's not you, Lilly. I don't know what you're trying to prove, to yourself or to this Adam fellow, but I'd like to think I know you better than he does. This isn't you Lilly."I took another numbing drink."Your whole life you've lived for other people, for their opinion of you. You live in fear of what they might say about you. The other night at the house, when I walked in on you and him - that was the first time you ever showed me any backbone. I was proud of you. Pissed off at you, but proud of you. If that's the sort of person this Adam makes you ... well, maybe you should consider that before you walk away."There didn't. I had my fun for a year or so, doing what I wanted when I wanted, and fucking whoever paid me attention. Then I walked into my local one day and there was a new barmaid that had just started, a 23 year old who had a body to die for and was single, she would have no interest in me because I’m in my forties, or so I thought! Over a few weeks we got friendly and a bit flirty with eachother and I still thought it was just a bit of a laugh, although I did want to fuck her! I went in the pub on the Friday for a few drinks and got chatting again and asked her if she was working the next day, yes but only a half shift, she finished at 4! But was staying for a few drinks after! I go and do a bit of shopping and get in the pub by 3 o’clock on Saturday, time to talk and flirt a bit! She finished her shift and I got her a drink, we sat outside in the sunshine and had a few more, I asked her if she fancied joining me for dinner, I was cooking! She said that would be lovely! So off we went back to.
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